I have a simple question based on observing some young(ish) couples on the weekend - and also to be honest Wifes’ WWM08 awards on her website, and it is this:

Why when something happens on Wifes’ watch do I get to spend the next few hours of my life convincing her that ‘every child crawls up on the roof and dives into a wading pool full of jello - it doesn’t mean that you are the worlds worst mother’. Whereas if it happens when I am in charge, I spend the next 2 days defending my abilities at being a parent and find myself denying that I was too distracted by the football and that is why Little Miss had managed to dress Usurper as a mermaid and was currently working out how to poach her.

Just a question……… is this an Aussie thing or a dad thing, or just me?

I have just discovered something funnier than toddler tantrums - 10month old baby tantrums! They are just the most adorable things.

In the last couple of days our baby Usurper has started to have the odd full blown tantrum. I don’t mean like the don’t leave me in this cot to sleep tantrum, but a real ‘I want it and an I want it my way type tantrum’.

She did one this morning where she wanted some shiny object of desire which I wouldn’t give to her. It was probably something harmless like a knife, but she really really wanted it and was not happy when I wouldn’t give it to her.

She just lay there on the ground screaming, banging her little heals and fists on the floor. It was loud, annoying and not a good portend for the future, but I just could not stop laughing. Of course there is a long way to go yet, so we will see who has the last laugh in due course.

In other news, Little Miss remains high strung and phobic about everything - toilet water running out, the battery in something going flat, a water tap being left running for two seconds, he little sister looking in the direction of any of her stuff, or our stuff, or anything really - I think she may just be baby sister phobic or something.

Looking forward to those teen years - yay! I must be looking really stressed out about it all - Wife wanted to call a nurse to check me over or something like that.

Our Little Miss has developed the strangest phobia I have yet come across. Currently she is living in terror that the toilet in going to run out of water.

Each time she is going to the toilet she needs to be reassured that it does indeed have water in it, hasn’t run dry and nor will it. Which is kind of amusing given that one of her main fears when transitioning from a potty to the toilet was the fact that there was water in the toilet - so we have gone a full 180.

It is now to the point where you have to go with her and lift the lid to check that the water level is acceptable.

It stems from our recent plane trip. Little Miss decided that she needed to go to the toilet mid air so we dutifully marched up to the front of the plane, waited our turn and entered. I will never forget the look of horror and confusion that crossed her face when she noticed that plane toilets have no water in them. Needless to say we beat a hasty retreat back to our seat and ever since then the conundrum of the waterless toilet has lead to an ongoing fear that our own toilet is about to run dry, and that would be a sure sign that civilization is coming to an end…

In other water related news, our goldfish has died - not that I am particularly concerned with that, let’s be honest they only cost $1.95 each or something.

But I want all the parents to spot what may be wrong in this sentence, when uttered to a highly sensitive and highly strung 3 year old. ‘Fish has died, it’s like he’s gone to sleep, but he won’t ever wake up’ - I am willing to be even some of the none parents can spot where things have gone wrong……

Discovering that the plane ride itself is dull from a toddler’s perspective - but that the airport travellator rocks like there is no tomorrow!

A safari at the open range zoo is pretty cool. Not because of the exotic animals or seeing them up close, these are too be ignored, but because you get to ride on a bus and go up a big hill (oh and you get a yummy ice cream as well). The meerkats are funny though so a threenager will sit and watch them, of course this may only be because she gets to eat an ice cream while watching them.

Pa is fun to play with, because you can make him do anything you want with the exception of dance. He didn’t dance at his wedding, so he won’t dance with a toddler. He did waiver though so I am expecting that when Usurper is a little older that between the 2 of you you will convince him to dance - at least in private.

Little Miss is perhaps the shyest person in existance. She met a great aunt, great uncle, cousin, Uncle and his ‘life partner’ - they aren’t married or even engaged so I guess that technically she isn’t an Aunt just yet - and she managed to not utter a single word to any of them. In the end we came up with the compromise of she would tell me the answer to any questions and I would pass it on. Even singing happy birthday to her nanny didn’t entice her to make a sound. And when the question of ‘Do you want cake?’ is only met by nodding after some prompting, you know the child has a small shyness problem.

While she doesn’t speak per se Little Miss has made some breakthroughs when it comes to communicating with strangers, she will now shake her head ‘no’ or nod her entire body (she nods from the waist and not at the neck) ‘yes’. We can accomplish this feat with only minor prodding from the parental unit. Not sure if this is funny or sad, I guess time will tell.

Usurper on the other hand is completely different, she loves and audience and she really doesn’t care who that audience is as long as she is the centre of attention. To this end the 10 month old has developed some little party tricks to ensure she is noticed. She removes her own shoes and socks and chews on them, even in 0 degree temperature she will be without her shoes and socks if she gets a chance.

Her other favorite new trick apart from removing her shoes and socks is to pick up any remote control that she can find laying around and hold it to her ear and answer it like it is a phone, complete with mimicry of talking on it to what one can only assume are the voices in her head.

Ok, as usual I got distracted between the start and the end of this post and went from trip highlights to stuff about the kidlets. I guess that just proves that I am getting old and am a true ‘parent’ now whose life revolves around the little people in the house.

So before I go I will mention one other highlight from the trip - Wife and I actually went out not once, but twice without the kids in tow. And I would estimate only about 50% of the conversation revolved around the kids, not bad for a couple on their first date in almost a year

It’s time to load up the family truckster and head on a little vacation. We are off to the my parents place for a few days for the first time since the expansion of the family unit from 3 to 4.

With the anticipation of the toddler Little Miss and the complete unawareness of baby Usurper there is also the anxiety of the parental units of Wife and I.

Sure we are excited about getting away even if it is only for a few days. We are like excited school kids, giddy with the thought of being able to handball the kids to Nanny and Pa for a few hours while we do something grown up. There has even been rumours of going out and eating somewhere that doesn’t have a children’s menu!

But excitement is tinged with a fear, the fear of the unknown as to how the kids with travel? Will they sleep well at our destination? Will Little Miss be comfortable using the toilet at Nanny and Pa’s? (She can still be a little precious about such things - she is such a delicate little flower at times).

Will there be acceptable food? Will Little Miss smash her way through all the breakables in the house while doing her ‘exercises’? (This is what she calls it when she is jumping off a table or doing a somersault of the couch). Will they get sick in the new environment or eaten at the open range zoo?

So much could go wrong, but I am hoping more of it will go right than wrong and we will have a fun little trip. Of course the whole thing will be spoilt by the wedding that is the main purpose of the trip, there is nothing surer than I will embarrass myself when surround by nothing but adults - and there is no way that I will be able to win them over with my jangly car keys like I can the kids. But give me a couple of drinks and I will certainly try.