Now I am probably going to come across as an insensitive jerk in the next few moments, but given that I probably am an insensitive jerk there is not much I can do about that little fact.
Anyway since the birth of usurper I have obviously been spending a fair bit of my time in maternity ward visiting my wife and beautiful new daughter (my wife is ok as well I guess), and during this time one thing has struck me time and time again - the nursery is like an overly congested trough on a farm. I don’t mean to be demeaning to the mothers involved, as I continue to be amazed at what they do and how they do it. But it is just this row of snorting crying yelling farting shitting babies all happily feeding away.
In front of them is a row of the little bassinets on wheels, sitting there waiting for their pilot to have be refuelled and ready to go. There is the row of mothers sitting in chairs as their partners fuss around them desperately trying to be useful when the truth is there is nothing for us to do but to stand around averting our eyes and fetching the odd glass of water.
It is strange to for once in your life desperately wanting to help out in any way possible and yet it is the one time that you are completely useless. Well not the only time, I was pretty useless at conception as well apparently