Last night when our toddler wouldn’t sleep I came up with the following list of ‘things to do while lieing on your toddlers floor as they won’t sleep without you there’:

Work out whether you need a new sleeping bag or whether the Strawberry shortcake one will do.

Write a work project in your head, declare it genius, fall asleep and forget what it was

Count the stuffed toys lining every flat surface - 57

Calculatein your head the total spent on Wiggles merchandise / products in the last year - well over 3 grand (includes concert tickets)

Come to the realisation that this exceeds the amount you have spent on yourself and all your hobbies, but it is still less than you used to spend partying

Get sad at what your life has become

Count to a thousand and then count back to zero

Wonder what you single childless friends are up to

Imagine what it would be like to not have to get up at 6am (this has actually replaced my ‘I wonder what it would be like to win lotto fantasy’)

Ponder what gadget you would like to buy

Realise that it is likely to be a new baby monitor and start to quietly weep

Sneakily type this list into your blackberry and email it to yourself

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