I have finally worked out a way for the toddler Little Miss to earn her keep.

Given that my dreams of turning her into a child star appear to have been thwarted by her extreme fear of crowds and performing, and my hopes of her being the female version of Tiger Woods don’t appear to be coming to fruition, thus  meaning I have to maintain a day job and can’t live off the earning she is generating (she is currently running at a loss) I have had to come up with a new plan - and today I have.

I discovered quite by accident today that Little Miss has a strong desire to help out with tasks around the house. I don’t mean things like picking up her toys or putting away her clothes, she is smart enough to realise that these are mundane tasks and should be avoided, but fun exciting tasks.

So today the toddler and I:

1. concreted a pipe back together

2. concreted rocks into the retaining wall

3. sweep up and bagged 4 metric tonnes of leaves (this may be a slight exaggeration)

4. dug out a tree stump

5. scrubbed clean the bbq for the first time in living memory (and then cooked a feast on it)

Not only did she assist with all these tasks, but she did so willingly, neigh enthusiastically!

So I have found a purpose for her, she makes ideal slave labour.

But how do I turn this new found knowledge into a profit making venture so I can just sit back and rake in the cash? Then my plan hit me!

One toddler, while helpful, is not enough. My plan is to recruit a toddler army and train them all in simple repetitive tasks and then lease them out to the highest bidder. What a boon it would be for me (and I am sure economic rationalists will also applaud my plan).

All I will have to pay them in is red cordial and chocolate - both of which are cheap and will make them hyper thus increasing productivity!

The best bit is that now that this idea is posted about in this blog I can claim it as intellectual property and stop any one else from stealing my idea or I will sue their ass.

Hmmmm, that is unless I myself have stolen the idea and Willy Wonka who was actually just using highly evolved toddlers and claiming they were Oompa Loompas?

Bugger!! Why are all the great ideas already taken?