One of the things I find most endearing about Little Miss is the complete honesty in what she says. Obviously she does lie, or more accurately she doesn’t answer a question, if you ask her why Usurper is crying she will say something like “welllll………… my shoe was a bit wobbly….” a complete non sequitor that after a while of dealing with her you can translate as follows:
Wellll = I’m trying to think of my justification don’t rush me
my shoe was a bit wobbly = I was trying to use the baby as a pommel horse, I slipped and landed on her head knocking off a couple of IQ points, but it wasn’t because I was being naughty and doing something I have been told again and again not to do, the problem was obviously that my shoe was wobbly causing me to lose my balance. Hence it is not my fault, but the cheap dodgy shoes you have bought be because you are a bad parent and don’t love me enough to get me good brand name shoes.

And I can assure you the reason I was given yesterday for a crying baby was indeed that Little Miss had a wobbly shoe, the translation though is my own.

As I so often do I have digressed at right angles to my original point, which is that I love the way that the toddler will tell the unadulterated truth. Hmmm, given I have just been telling you about how she lies to avoid blame I think a better way of saying it is I love how there is often no filter between what they are thinking and what they say.

In the last couple of days Little Miss has come out with some beauties, such as:
“What happened there?”, when pointing out the wrinkles around Nanna’s eyes.
“Did you brush your teeth, they are looking a bit manky (local slang for dirty)”
“I don’t like xyzrelative, they scare me”
“I don’t like xyzrelative, they are always crying”
“Dad, where did all your hair go” - I should point out this was said prior to my shaving my head
“Dad, you are a bad singer and a bad dancer, I don’t want you in my band anymore - sit down!”
“Nana, when we visit Nanny we go to Melbourne, she’s my favorite!”
“Nanny, I don’t think I love you much any more”

You get the picture, she just says what ever it is she is thinking with scant regard for how it may be taken by the recipient of the information. There is obviously no malice involved it is just her passing along what is obviously the truth as she sees it and as we all know we teach out kids not to lie so there is no reason to get all uptight about it.

Of course once our kids have mastered telling the truth we will spend the next few years teaching them how to lie in a socially acceptable way. And to us a socially acceptable way is to tell us the truth to any question we ask, whether or not it will get them in trouble, while remembering to lie in almost any social situation so as not to embarrass or hurt the feelings of those around them - even if that lie is obvious.

No wonder our kids get confused.

Hmmm, I think I will see if the toddlers approach would work in the adult world. I might spend the day just telling the unadulterated truth to those around me - “Well, we haven’t got the results you were after from the campaign because your message was garbage, your communication strategy was non existent, your written statements were barely literate and you personally have all the charisma of one of my daughters used nappies”, should do wonders for the career.