I picked up Usurper this morning as she enjoyed her 5:30am whinge and I was again struck by just how much, when push comes to shove, I am a poor second best when compared to Wife.

You see I have taken to sleeping in another room of the house (don’t worry it is not the end of marital bliss in the house) due to the fact that I come to bed later than Wife and get up earlier than Wife and doing this tended to wake Usurper who is still sharing a room with us. And if Usurper awakes during the night then life is hell, not just for the night but the following 72 hours.

I also noticed that even if I do manage to slip into the room without awaking Usurper there is nothing surer than she will wake up several times during the night. I am convinced that my mere presence in the room leads to Usurper suffering grave unrest and not being able to sleep at all. Maybe I fart in my sleep or something.

But I digress - as usual - the point was that this morning Usurper let out a mini cry at 5:30am which was enough to wake me. So I wandered in and picked her up out of her cot (Wife is not good when woken so I tend to be the one to get up first while she gets herself situated). So there I am holding Usurper and she is beginning to calm down and doing that bobble headed half awake thing that 1 year olds do. Given the time it is also obvious that she will need a feed, and that is something that only Wife can do - so I have no choice than to bravely broach the subject with a still groggy wife (using the baby as a human shield for my own well being).

So she staggered to her feet, Wife not baby, and wandered off to grab a drink of water before settling in for an early morning feed. As for me I watched as Usurper’s eyes followed Wife out the door, and as they did her little face screwed up tighter and tighter and then she let lose with an almighty howl the moment Wife was out of view.

It wasn’t just a cry, but the howl to end all howl’s. One that came from deep within her soul, as if the most precious had just been torn from her grasp, and she kept howling until Wife returned.

On the other hand when I left the room a couple of minutes later there was barely a whimper. Pretty much sums it up really………..