Well I have survived the family holiday. Sure there were times it threatened to swallow me whole and spit me out like so much refuse. Seven nights - more if you include the time spent at my parents place - and I have returned with no scares (visible to the naked eye that is).

But rather than bore you with all the details I thought I would stick to highlights (to be honest I’m scared to include all the gory details for Wife would spill my entrails all over the floor - I know this because she threatened this numerous times while on vacation).

Anyway, here are some non-sequitor points and observations:

Little Miss declaring she is ” ‘cited” (excited) about pretty much everything that has gone on. Especially staying in the “Helltell” as she has referred to the hotels. Oh and she LOVES restaurant meals!

The kids have been exceptionally well behaved considering all the toing and froing. There were some notable exceptions to this - perhaps the best being the best example of this was Little Miss demanding to use the portapotty in the airport terminal, then singing “I’m wiping my bum” while she was dancing around with her pants around her ankles and tissue in her hand. Of course this lead to her falling over in the middle of the terminal while weary travellers tried to pretend that they saw nothing - and I pretended to not know the child either. I did quite a bit of pretending while away.

Tasmania is a very very beautiful place indeed - even I have to admit it, and I care not a jot for such things usually. It is the type of place I could end up living - provided I had pay TV and a highspeed broadband connection.

I caught up with the remaining clan (my mum’s family is from here) before they kicked the bucket. Feel a little bit sad about those that I didn’t see for about 10 years before they died. But as they say in the classics - shit happens.

I learned that with two kids eating regular food that if we just ordered them two kids meals then I could survive by eating there leftovers. Got kind of sick of “chickie nuggets” and “pasgetti bologknees” though.

People expecting their first kids and funny in that they look at you askance when something like a tantruming toddler happens. You know that “My child will never be that badly behaved and out of control look” - my poor Little Brother and his partner know not what they have got themselves in for

Now I am sure Wife will include much better stuff than me - but she usually does.