I just wanted to say thanks for the input from readers both through comments and emails regarding my previous post - and some people where worried how I would take the feed back and I just wanted to let people know that of course no ones comments were out of line, or taken to be as such. I know that everyone here is extremely supportive and I do appreciate that.

Normally I would agree with the feedback that suggested that seeing a professional about such a thing (if you didn’t read the previous post you may want too - I will keep referring to it rather obliquely and it is the only way this is going to make sense) at such a young age was primarily being a panic merchant. But the talking to adults (even family members) is not an isolated example of such behaviour - it is just one example of a pattern of behaviour on her behalf. There is also family history of not only shyness but extreme anxiety and the like.

I have also seen at first hand people benefit greatly by learning and putting into practice some simple exercises that have helped with them cope - and thereby making both them and those around them a lot happier.

As things stand with Little Miss my biggest fear is that there is the potential of her not to have a happy life. She is bright, articulate, healthy, and even if I do say so myself one great kid! But she is sooooo anxious, and puts sooooo much pressure on herself to get things right already that it is just not good. She runs the risk of of being an unhappy person, even though there is no reason for her not to be an extremely happy go lucky person. She has all the natural talent and ability that any person could desire.

So for those reasons I am for once all in favour of seeing an expert early. Normally I poo poo the over protective parent (and I don’t think I generally am one), but at the same time I believe one of the roles of the parents are to BE the parents and not best friends. And sometimes that means doing the hard things, like:
1. disciplining the kids when they are bad
2. inflicting pain for the greater good - things like making sure they have there innoculations etc.
3. sometimes be a big meanie - making them do things they don’t want to do, like making them eat their vegies instead of lollies, or making sure they go to bed when required etc..
4. (and this is the one that for some reason most people struggle with) aknowledge that no matter how much you love your children that they aren’t perfect. They, like the rest of us, have strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps the toughest thing you have to do as a parent is to take off the rose colored glasses and look at your children objectively, see some of there strengths and weaknesses and then do whatever you can do to help them exploit their stregths and overcome their weaknesses.

But damn it is hard to admit your child’s weaknesses and then biting the bullet and taking those first steps to address them - especially when the initial decision that there IS a problem is such a subjective decision to begin with. But the decision has been made, and now it is time to get the help that may be required (even if that help turns out to just be some reassurance for Mum and Dad lol).

Ahhh - the joys of parenting……