I just wanted to say thanks for the input from readers both through comments and emails regarding my previous post - and some people where worried how I would take the feed back and I just wanted to let people know that of course no ones comments were out of line, or taken to be as such. I know that everyone here is extremely supportive and I do appreciate that.

Normally I would agree with the feedback that suggested that seeing a professional about such a thing (if you didn’t read the previous post you may want too - I will keep referring to it rather obliquely and it is the only way this is going to make sense) at such a young age was primarily being a panic merchant. But the talking to adults (even family members) is not an isolated example of such behaviour - it is just one example of a pattern of behaviour on her behalf. There is also family history of not only shyness but extreme anxiety and the like.

I have also seen at first hand people benefit greatly by learning and putting into practice some simple exercises that have helped with them cope - and thereby making both them and those around them a lot happier.

As things stand with Little Miss my biggest fear is that there is the potential of her not to have a happy life. She is bright, articulate, healthy, and even if I do say so myself one great kid! But she is sooooo anxious, and puts sooooo much pressure on herself to get things right already that it is just not good. She runs the risk of of being an unhappy person, even though there is no reason for her not to be an extremely happy go lucky person. She has all the natural talent and ability that any person could desire.

So for those reasons I am for once all in favour of seeing an expert early. Normally I poo poo the over protective parent (and I don’t think I generally am one), but at the same time I believe one of the roles of the parents are to BE the parents and not best friends. And sometimes that means doing the hard things, like:
1. disciplining the kids when they are bad
2. inflicting pain for the greater good - things like making sure they have there innoculations etc.
3. sometimes be a big meanie - making them do things they don’t want to do, like making them eat their vegies instead of lollies, or making sure they go to bed when required etc..
4. (and this is the one that for some reason most people struggle with) aknowledge that no matter how much you love your children that they aren’t perfect. They, like the rest of us, have strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps the toughest thing you have to do as a parent is to take off the rose colored glasses and look at your children objectively, see some of there strengths and weaknesses and then do whatever you can do to help them exploit their stregths and overcome their weaknesses.

But damn it is hard to admit your child’s weaknesses and then biting the bullet and taking those first steps to address them - especially when the initial decision that there IS a problem is such a subjective decision to begin with. But the decision has been made, and now it is time to get the help that may be required (even if that help turns out to just be some reassurance for Mum and Dad lol).

Ahhh - the joys of parenting……

I always knew that any child of mine would need therapy at some stage in their life - I just assumed they would at least make it to school first.
But alack and alas it would appear that our first visit is not too far away.
As you would be aware our eldest Little Miss is not much of a talker and has alwas been very shy. But it has gotten to the point where she is often completely mute when in a social circumstance.
She will from happily playing and chatting / singing / running around and the minute someone outside of the select few say something to her then she will not speak.
It is not just strangers either. She won’t answer aunts / uncles, teachers or carers - hell she won’t even talk to a lot of the other Mum’s in the mothers group whom she has seen once a week for 4 years now!
So it is time to find a specialist a get it looked into - now I just have to hope that once the flood gates open we can stop her talking again when she is an annoying teenager.

Well we are off for another family vacation in the morning. Not really a vacation as a flying visit to meet my niece for the first time.

Little Miss is mighty excited by it all - quite the seasoned traveller that she is. Usurper could not care less - but why would she, she takes the party to wherever she is so the venue and rent a crowd that comes with it is superfluous.

Wife will of course get all clucky about another baby, there will be comments, there will be a discussion and eventually there will be ‘words’.  Such is life

As for me, there is an outside chance I may get to see a football game, or visit a friend or something like that - but given we are only there for 3 days it isn’t likely. Still could be worse, not in the office for once and I get to spend time with all 3 of my girls - and that’s always good!

It is official, I am finally willing to call it - I am a competent father. Hooray for me. I am pretty sure I can look after the kids without either of them being in either grave physical, emotional or developmental danger.

Being frank they have probably never been at much risk of any of these things, but now I am certain of it. It is all to do with Wife’s recent return to work a couple of days a week. This has meant I have had to pick the kids up, get them to physie, go shopping, get them dinner, bathed and dressed for bed all by my lonesome.

Sure this isn’t a huge feat - but I should stress I am doing this without any adult supervision whatsoever! And believe me when I tell you I am used to living my life under STRICT adult supervision.

This was confirmed today when Little Miss was sick and I took the day off work to look after her. So I had to take Usurper to daycare, drop her off (with Little miss in tow because at first she demanded to go too, then decided she wanted to come home), go home wash all the vomited on sheets (after sleeping in the bed with Little Miss most the night), do some more general cleaning, administer the medication, pick up the youngest at the end of the day, cook dinner, do baths etc.

Ok, nothing Earth shattering, but the point is I did it, did it easily, did it without fuss and DID IT WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION…………

Which leads me to one conclusion - maybe I AM the adult supervision these days?

(Wife is probably thinking- finally, it only took 40 f’ing years!)

Let’s just pause and take a breath and look at what has happened in the last few days:

Wife has returned to work two days a week. This has probably been the hardest thing that she has done since childbirth itself. It will be a real effort for all of us to survive these next few weeks. We are in a situation where there will be long days for the kids at their childcare centre with Wife dropping them off for breakfast before heading for the train. Whereas I will be heading for the 6:25am train to be at work right on 8am. This means I will be able to leave and catch the 3pm train to pick the kids up at 4:30pm. Then I get to take them to Physie, or home to cook dinner and have a bath while we wait for Wife to return home. This makes for long days for us and the kids. Sadly this is the way the world is going - the day of the stay at home mum is out of reach of most of us (and most of us blokes feel like it is our fault and we are therefore bad providers - but we will recover).

Also Little Miss has turned 4! Can you believe that? Do you actually care? Didn’t think so. But to us it is a very big deal that we have finally had our precious big girl for longer now than it took to get her. Not sure which was the most expensive bit though - the costs involved in obtaining our child versus the cost obtained in raising our child. Probably the latter, but the big difference is it doesn’t involve large outlays in one hit, more like incremental problems.

Of course we had a party for her and despite the fact it was almost 40 degrees Celsius on the day it was a big success overall. There were over 20 kids there, and their parents and both sets of grandparents etc. And they were real guests not just cousins and the like. I was so proud of Little Miss and all her friends, how well behaved they all were and how much fun they had. Equally proud of Wife for yet again putting on a great party which everyone enjoyed. I was in charge of sausage rolls which is my specialty.

Usurper has decided to become very possessive of everything. As an almost 20 month old she has declared that every toy is ‘Mine’ or “Usurpers!”, that it is “Usurpers turn” etc. etc. Let the fun commence with that!

Last but not least I became an Uncle again this week. I say again, but it feels like the real time because this time I am not an Uncle by marriage as my little brother became a Dad! Kind of spoils the fact I have spent the last 20 years telling everyone he is gay - but I’ll get over the disappointment.Now we just have to work out how we can get down and visit the family.

Oh, and in other big news the Aussie Rules preseason started today. Go Pies!

*Note: This post was edited at the behest of Wife to correct spelling mistakes that were apparently ‘killing her’. It reminded me of the days when I was wooing her and she would send my my emails asking her out etc with spelling and grammer corrected.