web performance toddlerdaddy.com - Part 4
Baby Vomit Everywhere

Usurper is sick - has been for the last 3 days. It started late one night with a little spew, and then it continued for the whole night every 1-2 hours.

Then she was fine for a day, but sadly the spew has returned. I have to admit not even the cutest of toddlers can make vomit seem adorable. That first night we went through 3 changes of cot sheets, 3 sleeping bags, 2 changes of clothes for Usurper and 2 for wife. Oh what fun we had.

But the one thing that does amaze me about babies when they are sick is how quickly they tend to bounce back. For example Usurper threw up her pumpkin soup after dinner tonight (not that she ate much). Then for about 2 minutes while we cleaned up she sat there kind of crying and sobbing, but not more than 5 minutes later she was up running around and believe it or not laughing.

Now on the other hand if I am sick I just want to be left alone. I just want to lie on a couch somewhere, preferably within sight of the telly, and be left the hell alone. Don’t talk to me, don’t try and help me, don’t ask me every hour how I am feeling, just leave me alone to wallow. Oh, and this is vitally important, don’t offer advise or try and discuss with me the cause, I don’t care about the cause I just know I am sick, and I don’t need your advise unless you have a medical degree.

I am a real curmudgeon when sick lol

But not Usurper, not even vomit soaked clothes will get her to sit still …. oh to be young again


Not a tear to be seen

Well we have survived our first Physical Culture (the full name) contest with not a tear to be seen! Hell not only did Little Miss not cry, her bottom lip did not quiver, nor did she chew them raw. In fact she even managed a big grin once or twice.

Our shyest of the shy managed to do her routine with her friends in front of a hundred or so spectators and was actually excited about the prospect before hand and enjoyed it while doing it. I must say we are amazed, we were half expecting her to chicken out and not do it all. But do it she did, so now we are going to spring for the proper ballet slippers and outfits. Now if only we could get her to open her mouth and speak to those around her all would be good.

Usurper on the other hand continues to demand the attention of anyone who catches her eye. She waves, and speaks, and plays boo with anyone. She is the complete baby hussy.

That and she won’t sit still. She doesn’t walk, she runs ………….. and climbs, and jumps and dances, anything that involves movement. Today she spent half of the day crawling up stairs so she could walk down them holding hands. I can see a major face plant in her future.

So these are our current battles:
1. Get Little Miss to speak - I am sick of people thinking she is a mute while at the same time I can’t get her to shut up at home.

2. Get Little Miss to use a toilet that is not the one at home. Any toilet, I don’t care which one. So far there are only 3 toilets in the world that she uses - home, daycare and my parents. She won’t got at Wife’s parents place. It will make for an interesting holiday in October if she tries to hang on for a week or so.

3. Convince Usurper she is a toddler and not an Olympic athlete and that she is going to crash bigtime one day if she isn’t careful.

If we can manage those three things I may even manage a smile


have not posted in a long long time - sorry

I haven’t posted in ages - sorry for that, it shan’t happen again.

I promise to post more frequently again from now on. The reason for the lack of paosts is that with Nanny staying with us there has been less, not more, spare time. This is because even after the kids are in bed I have had to be sociable rather than Wife and I heading to different keyboards to do our online thangs…..

Even now this will be a shortish highlight post just to bring you up to speed with the last week or so, then back to a normal posting cycle I promise. Anyway, here are some of the things that have happened………..

I am no longer Daddy, I am James ………….. apparently this is lucky and will keep the monsters at bay. All people are henceforth to be known by first name only.

Physie (a weird dance / exercise mix thingo) is hilarious when it involves a group of 3 year olds. Little Miss even got her first trophy this week - although it is a perpetual one that they just take turns in keeping for a week. Had to brag anyway.

Usurper is almost talking! She is certainly forming specific sounds for spacific things, saying ‘mum mum’, ‘dada’ etc. but I have a sneaking suspicion that only parents and grandparents understand her thus far.

We had parent teacher night at Daycare. I am pleased to announce Little Miss is considered to be normal. There one concern is she won’t talk more than a few words, MY one concern is that she will not shut the heck up and is constantly telling me the most complex of stories or explaining the most complex of rules

Also Little Miss no longer accepts anything I say to be true just because I said so, even response to every question is now meet with a paus followed by “why?”. This has occasionally seen our chats end up in an infinite loop.

We are now the proud owners of a front veranda that now has approximately 25-30 square metres of blackboard for the kids to draw on!

My favorite quote of the week:
“Daddy, I got a new top, and dance dress and bangle and Usurper got a pair of pants and a top and we got a special suprise for you for your birthday, it’s a secret, it’s a watch, but it’s a secret so come here and I will whisper it to you in your ear!”

Kids - you gotta love’em. Otherwise the authorities will come and take’em away I guess


Fundraising chocolates
An email to the office at large - I sold all chocolates inside an hour :)

Morning
all,

I knew when I
had kids that this day would come, and come it has. I have fundraising
chocolates in the OBC for sale - bet you are thrilled.
What’s for sale?
Giant Freddos, Caramello Koalas, Summer Rolls, Picnics, Twix and probably some
others.
Cost? - they are all
$1 each according to the box so who am I do question such
things?

What are funds for?
Ummm, good question. They are for Physi class (I’m not sure exactly what that is,
but Cheryl and Shannon seem to know so they can explain if
required) so that trophies can be bought for all the kids who perform - and
knowing my daughter we need to ensure that there are an abundance of trophies
available so that they have enough to award everyone who turns up a
‘participants’ award. If they don’t have participant awards the
next best situation would be a trophy available for ’standing in the background
looking distracted and waving to your mum’ award.
Why should I buy
something? Because for the last 8 and a half years I have bought wrist bands,
flowers, bandannas, chocolates, lamingtons, books, stickers,
sponsored people to grow things, shave things, walk places, read
books, etc etc etc so now it is my turn. And if I haven’t bought something off
you in that time, then trust me one day you will be in this situation and I will
return the favour.
Where are they?
Behind Cheryl’s desk - I am not to be trusted - so come and grab something
(please)

Emergency Rooms are fun!

Little Miss had a big adventure last night - a trip to the hospital emergency room. Nothing serious mind you, but she had somehow managed to get a little heart shaped sticker stuck to her eyeball which had to be dealt with. Not that she minded, it wasn’t causing her any real discomfort or pain and had in fact been there for 24hours before being dealt with - it had happened the day before and then disappeared before reappearing last evening.

So anyway we packed up her little backpack with books, her sunggzies, a drink and a choccie treat for after the traumatic experience (nothing like a bribe to ensure bravery) and headed of on her trip to the emergency room. The funny thing was rather than being nervous or scared about anything she was genuinely excited by the whole adventure.

She was so happy to be out in her pj’s in the dark, really looking forward to going to hospital and seeing the doctor. She even amazed me by talking to both the nurse and the doctor when we where there. All in all I would have to recommend a trip to the emergency room as a pleasant bonding experience, provided it is nothing life threatening off course.