Well we have survived our first Physical Culture (the full name) contest with not a tear to be seen! Hell not only did Little Miss not cry, her bottom lip did not quiver, nor did she chew them raw. In fact she even managed a big grin once or twice.

Our shyest of the shy managed to do her routine with her friends in front of a hundred or so spectators and was actually excited about the prospect before hand and enjoyed it while doing it. I must say we are amazed, we were half expecting her to chicken out and not do it all. But do it she did, so now we are going to spring for the proper ballet slippers and outfits. Now if only we could get her to open her mouth and speak to those around her all would be good.

Usurper on the other hand continues to demand the attention of anyone who catches her eye. She waves, and speaks, and plays boo with anyone. She is the complete baby hussy.

That and she won’t sit still. She doesn’t walk, she runs ………….. and climbs, and jumps and dances, anything that involves movement. Today she spent half of the day crawling up stairs so she could walk down them holding hands. I can see a major face plant in her future.

So these are our current battles:
1. Get Little Miss to speak - I am sick of people thinking she is a mute while at the same time I can’t get her to shut up at home.

2. Get Little Miss to use a toilet that is not the one at home. Any toilet, I don’t care which one. So far there are only 3 toilets in the world that she uses - home, daycare and my parents. She won’t got at Wife’s parents place. It will make for an interesting holiday in October if she tries to hang on for a week or so.

3. Convince Usurper she is a toddler and not an Olympic athlete and that she is going to crash bigtime one day if she isn’t careful.

If we can manage those three things I may even manage a smile

I haven’t posted in ages - sorry for that, it shan’t happen again.

I promise to post more frequently again from now on. The reason for the lack of paosts is that with Nanny staying with us there has been less, not more, spare time. This is because even after the kids are in bed I have had to be sociable rather than Wife and I heading to different keyboards to do our online thangs…..

Even now this will be a shortish highlight post just to bring you up to speed with the last week or so, then back to a normal posting cycle I promise. Anyway, here are some of the things that have happened………..

I am no longer Daddy, I am James ………….. apparently this is lucky and will keep the monsters at bay. All people are henceforth to be known by first name only.

Physie (a weird dance / exercise mix thingo) is hilarious when it involves a group of 3 year olds. Little Miss even got her first trophy this week - although it is a perpetual one that they just take turns in keeping for a week. Had to brag anyway.

Usurper is almost talking! She is certainly forming specific sounds for spacific things, saying ‘mum mum’, ‘dada’ etc. but I have a sneaking suspicion that only parents and grandparents understand her thus far.

We had parent teacher night at Daycare. I am pleased to announce Little Miss is considered to be normal. There one concern is she won’t talk more than a few words, MY one concern is that she will not shut the heck up and is constantly telling me the most complex of stories or explaining the most complex of rules

Also Little Miss no longer accepts anything I say to be true just because I said so, even response to every question is now meet with a paus followed by “why?”. This has occasionally seen our chats end up in an infinite loop.

We are now the proud owners of a front veranda that now has approximately 25-30 square metres of blackboard for the kids to draw on!

My favorite quote of the week:
“Daddy, I got a new top, and dance dress and bangle and Usurper got a pair of pants and a top and we got a special suprise for you for your birthday, it’s a secret, it’s a watch, but it’s a secret so come here and I will whisper it to you in your ear!”

Kids - you gotta love’em. Otherwise the authorities will come and take’em away I guess

Little Miss had a big adventure last night - a trip to the hospital emergency room. Nothing serious mind you, but she had somehow managed to get a little heart shaped sticker stuck to her eyeball which had to be dealt with. Not that she minded, it wasn’t causing her any real discomfort or pain and had in fact been there for 24hours before being dealt with - it had happened the day before and then disappeared before reappearing last evening.

So anyway we packed up her little backpack with books, her sunggzies, a drink and a choccie treat for after the traumatic experience (nothing like a bribe to ensure bravery) and headed of on her trip to the emergency room. The funny thing was rather than being nervous or scared about anything she was genuinely excited by the whole adventure.

She was so happy to be out in her pj’s in the dark, really looking forward to going to hospital and seeing the doctor. She even amazed me by talking to both the nurse and the doctor when we where there. All in all I would have to recommend a trip to the emergency room as a pleasant bonding experience, provided it is nothing life threatening off course.

Firstly a thank you for everyone who sent me their jokes and humorous material. I can assure you that they have been tried out on Little Miss. Sadly they haven’t been all that successful, but I think that has a lot more to do with the delivery than the material. I am really going to have to work on my timing.

Maybe it has more to do with the material seeming forced when I try and deliver it. What really cracks up Little Miss is those things that are unscripted and just kind of happen - these are her current favorites and are guaranteed to make her giggle:

• When Dad drops something, or almost drops something or performs any act in his usual clumsy manner.
• When Usurper throws food on the floor - preferably something really really messy like yoghurt or custard.
• Whenever any one falls over on the television - especially if they have a nonsensical name, like IgglePiggle, or Upsy Daisy, or ummm George W Bush Jr
• When Dad farts (hey I admit it, I find that hilarious as well - Wife apparently does not).
• When Wife farts - not that that has ever happened, she has however been known to step on a duck

See, it is the pure things in life that little kids love and that make them laugh - and they do laugh, and they do have fun and I am soooooo jealous of that fact.

A prime example was yesterday when I got to pick up Little Miss from day care. I pulled the car up next to their playground and decided just to sit and watch for a couple of minutes, and what I saw amazed me.

All these kids where running around with just having fun - actually not just having it, but completely focusing on it, being part of it, running around absolutely DETERMINED TO HAVE FUN! And boy were they, fun is their life and their reason for being and there is nothing that will get between them and fun when play equipment is nearby!

I want to just be that focused on having fun once again - maybe that’s why kids are great, because they remind us to have fun.

Oh, and as for the title of the post, I guess I best explain it. Little Miss brought home a piece of art with her yesterday, a lovely picture of a woman with big big blue eyes, it looked all the world like her mum. But apparently the picture was of a ‘Big Bum Band’, and given we know Wife doesn’t fart it obviously couldn’t have been her…….